A New Year

Posted on January 4, 2013 by astrongaesthetic

New Year’s Eve has never quite lived up to its rad and rowdy reputation for me. I think Christmas takes it all out of me, so by the time NYE rolls around, I’m out of energy to plan a party. So this year, we decided to do things differently. We ordered Chinese take-out, bought some ice cream and headed home to build a romantic fire. We were going to keep things low key. I was skeptical at first. (Doesn’t NYE require a fancy dress and glitter? Won’t I be missing out on all the crazy fun and smooching that everyone else in the world is having at midnight?) But then I thought – shut up, brain! Here is the man you love, building you a romantic fire and lighting candles! There’s General Tso’s and Ben and Jerry’s to be had! You can spend the evening snuggled up together, dreaming about the future and talking about how awesome 2012 was. This started to sound more and more perfect.

… And then our house filled with smoke.

Lights on, food put to the side, candles blown out, windows and doors thrown open, and throats burning, the next hour or so of our NYE was spent aerating our home in 30 degree weather.

Ah, isn’t that how life is? The best laid plans go awry. Our lives are interrupted by wrong turns and things don’t go as expected. I tend to hold tightly to plans. I like things to turn out exactly like the perfect picture I imagine. But this NYE (and this year) I tried to remind myself: Grace, not perfection. Grace allows me to move forward more quickly, grace allows me to love more fully, grace makes room for the unexpected.

Once the fire had subsided, we had to laugh. We got into pj’s, grabbed the ice cream and champagne, and climbed into bed. Our house smelled like a dirty ashtray. There were no candles. I wasn’t wearing a pretty dress. And we fell asleep at 11pm. But we did have a great conversation about our past year and our hopes for the new one. We laughed over memories and thanked God for our blessings. We drank all the champagne. NYE 2012: It was a good one.

How did you spend New Year’s Eve? Got a great story like mine?

*image source unknown

Joyce Family Christmas

Posted on December 21, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

Our presents are shipped, our bags are packed, and I’m counting down the hours until I’ll be home for Christmas! This year we are heading to Chicago to spend Christmas with my family. I can’t wait to wake up in my parents’ house in the quiet of an early morning (hopefully with snow!) and come downstairs to find the coffee already brewed and my mom keeping a seat warm for me on the couch in the reading room. My parents have only been back in Chicago since I left for college, so I’ve technically never lived in this new house, but they both really know how to make it feel like home. I love that.

Earlier this week, I shared our Christmas Card. I thought I’d also share some of the other ways we’ve made Joyce family Christmas traditions. Traditions are important to me, and even though we’re only in our second year of our marriage and we’re only a ‘family’ of two, I’ve wanted to be really intentional about creating memories and establishing our own family customs. I think traditions say something about what we value and, in a way, shape who we are over time. In the middle of the busyness and cacophony of shopping malls and Santas, I want us to have places that we come back to each Advent that remind us of what we believe and what we love most. Some of them are defining moments that really point to the core of who we are and some of them are simple and light-hearted – small joys that speak of love and goodness in a world that can seem so dark sometimes.

I also had to learn that we, the two of us, are our own clan. So we can’t just take the traditions of our own families and mash them up and expect them to be just as meaningful. I come from a family of three girls. One of our traditions growing up was to watch White Christmas and traipse around the living room, singing “Sisters, Sisters” with our very own Butler Sisters lyrics. I tried this with Michael. He didn’t look as pretty in a blue feather boa as we’d both hoped.

This year our traditions included:

1. Getting our first Starbucks holiday drink and heading out to pick out our tree, then decorating it while listening to our favorite Christmas tunes (Otis Redding is high on the list).

2. Attending Lessons & Carols at The Haven. Our church does this concert every year, and it is one of the most meaningful and beautiful services.

3. An Advent Calendar. This year I made an Advent Calendar for Michael. I took 25 paper bags and numbered them, placing a small surprise (Joe Joe’s from Trader Joe’s) or a note of love or appreciation or an outing (tonight we’re going to drive around and look for the best Christmas lights or let’s bake cookies for our neighbors!) in them and tying them up with twine. This was a great way for me to love Michael and for us to love our friends and community. Some days we were too tired to do what was written in the bag, so we gave grace when needed.

4. Behold the Lamb. This Andrew Peterson & friends concert has become a must for us. The music is beautiful and the different artists he brings on tour with him each year are so talented.

Do y’all have special family traditions? I’d love to hear your ideas!

Our Christmas Card

Posted on December 18, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

Merry Christmas, bloggin’ friends! I hope this season of Advent has brought you a bit more hope in this time of grief, a bit more light in this present darkness. As part of our little Joyce family Christmas traditions (if you’ve done it twice, it’s a tradition in my book!), we sent out Christmas cards. I love Christmas cards. This year, we’ve hung them all up on the back of our front door so every time I leave the house, I’m bid farewell by all these beautiful friends and families. I love watching families grow through Christmas cards – new babies, graduations, weddings. This year when we finally had a moment to sit down and choose our card through Minted (we use them every year!), we realized that shoot! Not a single decent photo of the both of us from the whole dang year? Good thing I have such amazingly talented photographer friends. I quickly thought of Lucy of Lucy O Photo, and I’m so glad I did. Lucy graciously offered to take our photos one Sunday morning before church with one condition – she wanted red lips. My response? Duh.

Lucy was amazing. If you’re in need of a family photo or a wedding photographer, Lucy is one of the best. And – major bonus – she shoots film. In the 30 minutes we spent with her, I think we got some of my favorite, most authentic photos as a couple. Lucy made us feel comfortable in our own skin, and she just knew what poses were going to work and what backdrops were best. Ah, Lucy, I love you!

Now before you peruse our pics, I must warn you: my hubs is smokin hot. Like, I might have fallen in love with him all over again looking at these. So just be warned – you might develop a crush (it’s easier to do so than you might think). But… he’s taken, ladies.Gosh, I love that last one. My man is so handsome when he laughs. Such a perfect moment.

Moments: Our First Anniversary

Posted on June 18, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

Last week we celebrated our first anniversary. On my wedding day, as my bridesmaids can attest, I cried all morning. I was just so overwhelmed – by my love for Michael, by my utter disbelief that he had chosen me, by the gratitude I felt toward my beautiful parents, and by the joy that came with knowing that God had come close. I held my sisters’ hands, smiling and laughing, and cried, I talked on the phone with a bridesmaid who was living in Africa and unable to be at the wedding and cried, I prayed and I cried. I was a mess! I pulled it together for my makeup to be done and by the time I walked down the aisle, my tears had ceased and I was ready.

A year later, I’m the same. A year of marriage has only deepened the roots of those feelings; I have only become more saturated with gratitude; I have only become more keenly aware of the grace that permeates my life. I don’t deserve this humble, incredibly handsome, hilarious man and the life we are building together each day. The small moments are the best: waking up to his whispering “Good morning, cute girl.” or jogging around our neighborhood, talking about our days or discovering the totally weird things we each do. Having a partner: It’s a gift I don’t take for granted. I remember being told over and over before we got married that I needed to know how hard marriage is. And I know that to be true. Any time you deal with a whole person and all their imperfections, life is going to be hard, raw, and real. But what I wish people had emphasized was the deep-seated joy. Not just happiness but joy, the kind that grows from shared experiences, selfless moments, and the times where you see God more clearly at work because you see yourself being shaped by your marriage. It’s a sweet thing.

Moments: Alabama Weekend

Posted on May 29, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

I hope y’all had a sunny Memorial Day weekend full of lemonade and cookouts to kick off summer. We had a pretty amazing weekend ourselves – roadtripped with one of our fave couples, the Klebergs, down to the sweet Southern state of Alabama to see our dear friends, Sarah Catherine and Karver, get hitched! It was the perfect excuse to take off a little early and enjoy a full few days of southern hospitality. The wedding was at the home of the bride in the quaint, little town of Florence – how fun is it to explore the place a close friend grew up? We spent the majority of our time sunbathing at the yacht club where the men wore visors and croakies (Michael was in heaven) and the women sipped on gin and tonics. If you’re ever passing through Florence, we highly recommend grabbing dinner at City Hardware (we did… twice). And if you plan to drink a beer or two poolside on a Sunday, be certain to buy your brews the Saturday before (the sale of alcohol on the Sabbath is prohibited – we know, we got the evil eye for trying!).

Photos above from my iPhone: The invitation (by Rock, Paper, Scissors), Michael by the pool, passing through Tennessee (goodness, the South can be beautiful) and the sweetest thing: Mr. Rice serenading the bride and groom at the beginning of the gorgeous reception.

We had the best time. Sarah Catherine was a beautiful, gracious bride. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Bolton! Can’t wait til you’re back from the honeymoon!

Reading: Sold

Posted on April 16, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

I was getting spoken to and speaking, some of the women, old friends, neighbors, leaning over to give me a hug, but all the time I was listening. “Sold!” “Sold!” Every time I heard it, I knew that, piece by piece, the things we’d all of us gathered there so many years would be scattered and gone. All that had been used to make it a dwelling place, by my folks on back, by Grover and me, by just me with Coulter and Wilma to help me, all the memories of all the lives that had made it and held it together, all would come apart and be gone as if it never was. – “Sold” by Wendell Berry

I read this story this morning. I like reading Wendell Berry during the changing of seasons, when you can’t ignore the living nature of the earth itself. Things grow. Things pass away. A thick dusting of pollen brings forth the promise of spring buds. A sudden chill reminds us that even the greenest leaves turn brown. Everything moves at twitter-speed these days. There’s an immediacy that sometimes is tiring, exhausting. It makes us feel like we are powerful: the entire world at our fingertips. And yet actual living happens in very small spaces: the kitchen, the walk to work, the bedroom, the garden. Reading Wendell Berry is slow, sometimes painstakingly slow. The lives he writes are agrarian, simple, full of life’s boring details. I’m afraid of what we lose when we don’t pay attention to those details. What will happen when all the Wendell Berrys, who really knew a slower life, aren’t around to tell these stories?

Lately

Posted on March 23, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

Gosh, where have I been? Not blogging, obviously. I’ve got some posts in the works, however, so stay tuned!

Here’s what I have been doing:

Hopefully, I’ll be back soon with more to say. For now, go enjoy this gorgeous weather!

25 and it feels so good

Posted on March 16, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

I’m 25 today. Crazy, right? Well, it seems crazy to me. Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d imagine where you’d be at certain ages. At 25, I thought I’d be climbing the ladder at some high power, highly glamorous job. I thought I’d have all of my goals lined up neatly, checking them off one by one as if they were small errands on a to-do list. I’d be married, we’d live in a cute little house in a big city just like the one my parents lived in when they were 25. My life at 25 would be on a certain and stable trajectory toward success (and hopefully, fame; I did want to be a country singer, after all). 25 seemed so old, so mature.

And now, here it is: 25. It has arrived quickly and without much fanfare. A few things are true from the list of my childhood but more things are not. I am not vying for a big promotion nor am I finding myself on a clear vocational path; in fact, my goals and, subsequently, jobs have changed and changed again. We don’t live in a big city and, sadly, my country twang never quite developed properly.

And yet, I’m finding myself at 25 thankful, proud, hopeful. I am married (and I truly won the lottery there), and we do live in a cute little house that is more and more becoming our home. I am on some sort of meandering path to success; it has many detours and small alcoves for planting new gardens and breathing deeply. There is room on it to find my footing and my voice. The success part looks different as well: It’s much more colorful and a whole lot more self-made. It involves working diligently for the good of others, putting in lots of extra hours to cultivate creativity, and sustaining the courage to make my own way. So at 25, I can say I’m figuring it out. With a whole lot of tenacity and hopefully even more humility.

Here’s to 25, y’all! Thank you to all of you who have called, written, and made me feel loved today! And special thank you to M. I can’t wait for our surprise trip this weekend! Birthdays are the best.

Image: Me as a child. Pretty irrelevant but it makes me laugh every time.

Need: A Nap

Posted on March 8, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday. Some weeks, I feel so all over the place and my brain kind of turns to mush. Whenever I have weeks like this, it always puts me into organize-overdrive. Like, clean everything. And make lots of lists. Problem is, I should probably just have regular habits of organization and cleaning in my normal routine. And just like that, another list is born: Habits I Need to Form. Y’all, I think I need a nap.

Do you have any special methods of organization?

Image via FFFFOUND

Moments: A Wife’s Gratitude

Posted on March 6, 2012 by astrongaesthetic

Dear Michael,

Thanks for taking care of me last week when I wasn’t feeling well (including that late night trip to Wendy’s for french fries, which, I admit, is indeed a strange craving when one is ill. Also, thanks for knowing to get two orders of fries. You’re the best). Thanks for always saying “yes” when I ask if I can leave the light on a bit longer so I can read before bed. It’s nice to know you’re next to me, and I’ve finished some wonderful books. Thanks for not saying anything about the pile of discarded clothes that I have allowed to grow to an obscene height on my side of the room. I know it bothers you, and I promise to take care of that soon. Thanks for encouraging me to take practical steps toward my goals. The idealist in me is forever grateful. And thanks for indulging that idealism. It’s so good to know that you believe in me, that you will cheer on my ideas, and that I can trust you to bring me back down to earth.

I have a lot more to be thankful for, like how good you look in a pair of dark jeans or how your beignets are out of this world, but I think I’ll leave it at that for this week. Glad you’re my best friend.

Yours,

Mal

PS – Go Heels!

Image of husband looking totally handsome by me

A Strong Aesthetic

Category Archives: Moments